The Drunken Pig

My brother, Ryan, is a junior at Wake Forest University. When he was a freshman he was looking to pledge for a fraternity, so he heard many stories from his older friends about many of the fraternities on campus. One fraternity story stuck with him, and it goes as follows:

            There was a fraternity at Wake that was fairly notorious for partying. One night they threw a huge party and, therefore, a bunch of the members of the fraternity had had a bit too much to drink. After most of the people had left the party, a few of the boys found themselves on their way to a nearby farm. They got out of their car and walked around the farm for a bit, until they came across a pig pen. The drunken boys got into the pen and started messing around with the pigs and each other. Then, one of the boys thought it would be hilarious if they stole a pig, so they did. A couple of them lifted up the pig, snuck it out of its pen, put it in the trunk of their car, and headed back to campus.

            Once they returned, they quietly walked the pig back to their frat house, where their fellow SigEp brothers praised them for snatching the pig. However, the boys back at the frat house thought it would be even funnier if they tried to get the pig drunk. So, the boys poured some beer into a big bowl and put it on the ground for the pig to drink out of. They watched and laughed as the pig eagerly lapped up the beer. Once the pig had consumed all of the bowl’s contents, it was clearly drunk; as it actually was struggling to walk normally just like a human when he or she is drunk. The boys continued to laugh and drink for an hour or so, until they realized they had a serious problem: the drunken pig had escaped.

            The boys, who thought the runaway pig was also hilarious, ran around campus, during what was now the middle of the night, looking for the pig, but it was nowhere to be found. They caused enough of a ruckus looking for the pig that campus security stopped them and asked what in the world they were doing running around screaming in the middle of the night. One of the boys drunkenly attempted to explain to the security guard that they were looking for their lost pig, and that it was drunk. The very confused guard thought they were just joking around, so he disregarded the boy’s comment and told them to go back to their frat and stop disturbing everyone.

            The next morning there was a knock on the door of the frat house. One of the boys groggily answered the door to an irritated police officer. The officer asked if they knew anything about an inebriated pig that they had found standing in the middle of a sidewalk in a local park. The boys tried to deny it but their laughter and awful excuses made it clear to the police that they were the ones responsible, so he informed the security guards at Wake.  The boys just admitted to their counselors and security guards that they stole a pig, got it drunk, and then unfortunately lost it. While most people at Wake found this very funny, others didn’t. As a result, the fraternity, Sigma Phi Epsilon, of Wake Forest ended up losing their charter from nationals, and because of that they are now technically only a colony, not a complete fraternity, at Wake.