Monday, October 7, 2013

Beowulf: Fully Animated


Beowulf: Fully Animated

The Epic Fail of an Epic Poem

Seamus Heaney’s translation of the epic poem Beowulf is a work of literary prestige with beautiful language that deserves honor and respect. Robert Zemeckis’ translation of the poem turns the classic myth into a smutty Hollywood byproduct, ruining the integrity of the main characters and aiming to please our morbid society of blood-thirsty people with attention-deficit disorders. Zemeckis’ movie is full of violence, as he seems to be disturbingly fascinated with impalement, and so many unnecessary side stories that the movie seems to be more of an Anglo-Saxon soap opera than an epic poem. Most of the soap opera aspect comes from the loaded (and completely begat from the minds of Zemeckis and his screenwriters, rather than the original text) back-stories and personalities of each of the characters. In the movie we come to understand that both our hero Beowulf and King Hrothgar are adulterers, an insight which I myself never picked up from the poem, and apparently Grendel’s mother, previously assumed to be a hag even more terrible than Grendel himself, is a seductress dipped in gold paint. How creative. But it would be fruitless to point out and correct every defiant deviation from the text that the movie takes on, because there are too many that are so unnecessary that they are not even worth mentioning.

Although most other reviewers are not as rigid about a strict interpretation of the text, most agree that the film Beowulf is a boast not of victory or strength, like Beowulf’s own, but rather a boast of state-of-the-art technology and 3-D movie magic. “This film version of “Beowulf” doesn’t offer much beyond 3-D oohs and ahs” (“Beowulf (2007)”, Manohla Dargis), as well as impalement after impalement. Using CGI (Comupter-Generated Imagery) to construct creepily realistic but waxy-looking people and disturbing mythical creatures, “they still neither have the spark of true life nor that of an artist’s unfettered imagination” (Dargis). Plus they’re just creepy, and somehow manage to make even attractive actors unattractive. Although the CGI approach to this movie made the multiple mead hall massacres more convenient, the animation made the movie more childish. Surely some parents were lulled into a false sense of security and brought their young ones to see the movie, unbeknownst to them what they were about to behold. Although if you are a fan of the bloodiest and most disgusting scenes imaginable, are impressed terrifyingly detailed monsters, or simply need to escape from reality for 114 minutes, by all means see the movie.

The movie is so inappropriately hilarious at times that it makes me question whether or not it is satirical. Substituting beautiful poetry for sexual innuendos, “some of the dialog sounds like Monty Python. No, most of the dialog does” (“Beowulf” Rogert Ebert). I don’t think that Seamus Heaney would appreciate the poem’s being so besmirched. Speaking of besmirched, let’s discuss our epic hero. Beowulf: in the poem he is an admirable hero who rightly is awarded the Geatish crown and rules the kingdom until killed by a dragon. In the movie however, he is a dishonest philanderer who usurps the Danish throne after giving away their most precious heirloom and somehow helping to conceive a dragon (quite a biological mystery). I honestly cannot understand how such a blatant disregard to the original story has been disregarded by other reviewers. Perhaps, like Zemeckis, they didn’t read the poem either.

Honestly, I don’t think that the disgusting aspects of the film are really Zemeckis’ fault. They are just what the moviegoers asked for. They wanted action, they got action. They wanted sexy women, they sure got it. They surely must prefer impalement to other kinds of deaths, because that’s how more than a necessary amount of people died.  

The reason behind this transformation of the poem is the same reason why, only in our United States, Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone goes by the name Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone. The word “sorcerer” is just so much more interesting than “philosopher”. Just like Anglo-Saxon soap operas are more interesting than boring old myths that don’t even involve one sex scene. I really fear for the future of movies. With Hollywood filmmakers running out of ideas and scraping the absolute bottom of any barrel they can find, who knows what text will be slandered next. What about the Aeneid? The Odyssey? The Iliad? How about the Bible? If you still believe in high-quality films with a solid core of meaning and well-crafted dialogue, don’t waste your time on this movie or any other movie that is created simply to be an escape from reality.

2 comments:

  1. Your insight into the movie was very descriptive and I liked how you asserted your point in a precise and dominant manner. The whole review as a whole was full of detail and your opinions which made it great, and it was also short, sweet, and to the point.

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  2. I love the diction; "smutty" describes the film perfectly. I like your frankness, even though it somewhat brash. Personally, I would not include what Seamus Heaney would think because that is a pretty complex unknown. I love how you talk about how the film took so much away from the original story and substituted the basics of the story with over the top 3-D graphics. Because through out the review you kind of compensate for what they left out through your diction by using words such as unbeknowest. Your review creates a tone similar to the Epic.

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