Story 1

          There was always a particularly loud teenager on my walk to work. He was the type of individual who clearly was comfortable in his surroundings. Not as in calm, but as in uncaring about whatever discomfort he might cause in others. We would usually be yelling at neighbors or friends when I walked by. Usually, he never gave me any trouble. Usually.

            One day, as I was walking past, I hear him yell “Hey! You!” into the street. I wasn’t confident he was talking to me, but I figured he might be. As I didn’t want any trouble, I slowly picked up my pace, hoping he would leave it at that. Unfortunately, I was not so lucky.

            “Hey! Hey man, get back here!” I heard him yell, accompanied by running footsteps towards me. It was now clear that I was, in fact, the person he was yelling at. I wondered if running might work, as he surely wouldn’t be that interested in my torment, but I felt that it was probably in my best interest not to find out. So I turned around as he came up to me.

            “Hello,” I said, tersely.

            He was only a few feet away at this point, but once I acknowledged him, he slowed his pace to a walk. He had a slight smile on his lips, which I took as a sign that he was going to do his best to mess with me.

            “Hey, buddy,” he said, “I just wanted to let you know your wallet fell out of your pocket as you were walking.” Which sounds, of course, like a bystander doing a good deed without the additional information that I never carried my wallet with me to and from work.

            “Seems unlikely, as I didn’t bring my wallet,” I said, coldly. I wanted to make it as clear as possible that I wasn’t in a mood to play around, but he wasn’t giving in that easily.

            “No, no, man, I watched it fall right out of your pocket. It fell right into that hole over there.”

            “Can’t say that I see the hole you’re talking about.”

            “It’s right over there, near that car.”

            “I’m not sure someone would park their car right next to a large hole.”

            “Alright…” he said, still as full of it as he’d started. He put his arm around me and pulled me a little closer. I did not reciprocate.

            “So you live around here, man?”

            “Yeah, I live right on Quincy.”

            “Oh, Quincy? Yeah, I know where that is. Which house you live in?”

            “The one where my wallet is, funny enough.”

            “No, I’m telling you, your wallet dropped out right there.”

            “Not sure how it would’ve gone into that hole from my house.”

            “Why wouldn’t you have your wallet?”

            “I never carry my wallet with me to work.”

            “Oh, you’re going to work, then. Where you work at?”

            “Co-Op. Small grocery store set-up.”

            “Oh word? They got cake there?”

            “…sure, yeah, they’ve got cake.”

            “You wanna go buy me some?”

            “It’d be hard to do without any money.”

            “Since you’re wallet’s in that hole?”

            “Since my wallet’s at my house. Close guess, though.”

            “So you got money in your house?”

            “Yeah, like my wallet.”

            “Think I might be able to get some of that?”
            “I suppose you could talk to my parents, but we aren’t prone to give out loans very often.”

            “Oh? Live with your parents, huh?”

            “Yup.” At this point, I was incredibly cautious. It was slowly turning into a conversation about my family, and I wanted to make sure I didn’t give any information that might actually put someone in danger.

            “You got a mom?”

            “Everybody does.”

            “You think she might be into me? Might like a guy like me?”

            “Don’t know, haven’t exactly asked her what her type is.”

            “Haha… you’re a funny guy, I see.” It was becoming increasingly clear that this kid wasn’t used to this kind of dialogue with his targets. I was hoping that this would give me an opportunity to break off, but it was at this moment that another kid came up the street, carrying his skateboard over his shoulder. I was hoping that this kid would know my opponent and tell him to back off, but that proved to not be the case.

            “Yo! Ty!” My adversary yelled. The skateboard kid, who was apparently named Tyler, turned and walked over to us, with a similar smile. The teenager, who had kept his arm around my shoulder, tapped my chest rather aggressively. “This is my new buddy here… what’s your name?”

            I lied. “Jake.”

            “Jake, yeah,” he said, turning from Tyler to me. “Now let me ask you something, Jake. Do you think that if my buddy were to hit you with his skateboard, it would hurt?”

            “I’d imagine so, yes.” Now I was conflicted. It seemed unlikely that this would be a real threat. It was still early evening, so I found it hard to believe that these guys would take a chance at actually doing anything to me. I figured this was just the next step of their game, and I wanted to see where they were trying to take it.

            Then suddenly, Tyler charged at me with skateboard in hand. I was scared, of course, but I’d made up my mind to stand my ground, and I wasn’t giving in now. I’d seen people throw fake punches and kicks all the time. I figured that, as long as I kept my composure, this kid wouldn’t follow through with it.

            I was right. His skateboard stopped a good few inches from my face. A blink was the only betrayal of my resolve. Tyler slowly lowered the skateboard and backed a bit away. The first teenager, who had moved out of the way when Tyler charged, was silent.

            There was a good five seconds of silence. I was fully on guard at this point. I wasn’t sure how close we were to the end of this hazing, but I was getting more and more aggravated. I was now going to be late for work, and I was steadily preparing myself for the possibility of an actual fight. I didn’t have my wallet on me, but I did have my keys and my phone, and if violence was the only way to escape the situation, then so be it.

            This proved to be unnecessary. The first teenager, the friend of Tyler, slowly began laughing.

            “You’re a real ass dude, you know that?” He patted me on the back, slightly less aggressive, but not friendly by any means.

            “…Thanks.”

            “No problem, buddy. Have a good night.” He turned and walked up the street and into his house. Tyler, seeing that the game was up, resumed his original path and walked away as well. I sighed deeply in relief, accepting that I had survived the encounter and came out unscathed.

            My parents wanted me to change my route, once I’d explained the events after returning from work. I told them I would, as they were clearly more shaken up then I was, but I stayed with my original path. Maybe that teenager had become bored with this game, or maybe he’d only been there for the summer. But that altercation ended up being the last time I saw him.