Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Disagreements Remembered, Peace Treaties Forgotten, and One Terribly Miss-Timed Question

You’ve heard about my Dad’s side of the family, but now you get to hear about my mom’s. In the former case, distance paradoxically brings the family closer; however, in the latter case, close proximity creates distance. Like myself, my mother is the youngest child in her family by over 10 years, and thus her siblings are all in their late sixties or early seventies. However, in the over 60 years all of the siblings have lived close to each together, they have gotten farter apart. My mother and consequently my immediate family seem to be the neutral party in the fight, yet that doesn’t exclude us from the most eventful proceedings.
            One particular year, it was our turn to host my mother’s side of the family for Thanksgiving. For one of the few times in history, everyone’s mutual relations were peaceful enough that they all actually decided to attend. However, the feelings of peace were as always short-lived. As soon as the dinner started, the proceedings began and never stopped. Tolstoy is famous for stating that “all happy families are alike, while all unhappy families are unhappy in their own way,” this unhappy family is certainly not an exception to what is known as the “Anna Karenina Principle.” My mother’s family’s unhappiness stems from a long history of lying, stealing, cheating, and many disagreements over the one thing that seems to separate every family: money. This Thanksgiving’s topics of disagreement were somewhat unusual; this time one cousin had failed to invite another group of cousins to his wedding. The rest just naturally followed. Next, I heard the argument of my two cousins, sisters nonetheless, who were both displaying their hatred for the other’s boyfriend. There was only a slight break in the rancor when my two aunts finally agreed on something, that their husbands were just waiting to die while they downed upwards of 9 “happy pills” a day.

            After another short break for my aunts and uncles to smoke their cigarettes and refill on alcohol, the proceedings resumed. The spirits certainly did not help the situation as we now turned to the worst argument of them all: which cousin had the best tattoo. All of the cousins on my mom’s side had a slightly strange obsession with tattoos and each had a few removed by laser just to add another few on. There were butterflies, dragons, flowers, faces decorating each one’s arms and even my sixty-nine year old aunt expressed interest in having her back adorned with an insect. And then my dad dropped the bomb; his ill-timed, slightly naïve yet innocent question would end fatally. He simply rejoined the conversation after getting a drink and asked, “why does anyone want a tattoo anymore.” Well that was the end, the slight spark next to a tank of gasoline. That question led to yells, screams, and even further arguments about which cousin had the worst divorce and which cousin had the worst MATCH.com date. My one uncle even brought up an event 30 years prior in which my aunt had “accidentally” walked across his garden. It was at times terrifying and at times comedic until one somewhat rational uncle, so upset by the stupidity of the arguments, simply got up and left. It was all downhill from there, and soon enough my immediate family was alone in the house at the dinner table enjoying dessert by ourselves. We figured we would enjoy what was left of Thanksgiving and hope for better results next year in the perpetual challenge to get my mom’s siblings to like each other.

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