Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Chipotle Time

There was a man named Adam Memes.  As a senior he would work out a lot at his gym in Newtown Square.  Every Wednesday and Sunday morning he would meet his trainer.  His trainer, Marshawn Fisher, was a hard working guy, and he was bright too.  A MIT grad, Marshawn later found a passion for weightlifting.  He has been a personal trainer for the past 17 years and has been working with Adam for the past 2 years.  Adam, too, was a dedicated athlete, but enjoyed his time socializing on the weekends.  He often shared his ventures with Marshawn when they would meet.  The two had a mutual respect for each other and each other’s interest.
One Friday afternoon, Adam got a surprise call during school for Mashawn.  Adam picked up, “Hey bud, my cousin is coming in from Boston this weekend and I was wondering if you could take him out with you tonight?”
Adam wanted to yell, “Are you serious?! I don’t even know who this kid is and you are trying to pawn off your little cousin on me?”  Instead, Adam replied, confused, “Sure, um, how old is he?”
“Don’t worry,” Marshawn reassured, “he is your age.”
Adam sighed, “Thank God.  I did not want to be dragging a little kid around all night.”  
Marshawn responded, “Haha nah, I would never do that to you.  His name is Ju and can you just pick him up at Chipotle in Wayne around 7?”
“Yeah no problem.”
“One last thing,” Marshawn added, “Ju can be quite a handful sometimes.”
Adam replied confidently, “I think I can handle him.”
Adam pulled up to Chipotle that night utterly confused how he was going to pick up a complete stranger off the street.  He pulled into a spot and put the car in park.  As he went to unfasten his seatbelt, he heard the passengers door unlock and open.  A tall and wide figure peered his head into the car.  “Yo, u Memes?”
Terrified, Adam croacked, “Yeah.”
“Aight.” The man hopped in the car.  “I’m Ju.  Let’s roll.  I’m tryna get some play at the party.”  Adam put the car in gear and set off to Connor’s house for the party.  As they pulled out of the parking lot, Ju asked, “Yo you spit right?” Adam stared blankly.  “Marshawn said u rap, did you quit?” Adam nodded still shocked at himself for letting some kid just break into his car.  “Aight well I do, bust a beat.”  Adam pulled up an instrumental on his Ipod.  Ju broke, “What the duck is that?”
Adam finally spoke, “Did you just say ‘duck’?”
“Yeah, I don’t curse, it’s bad for the soul.”  Adam finally thought he was starting to get to know this guy, but he couldn’t have been further off.  Adam just kept his thoughts to himself as he listened to Ju rap about whatever he saw in the car and how it related to sex and drugs.  Adam especially enjoyed how he incorporated a cup holder into the rap.  It was incredibly ironic to watch this man come up with words to avoid curse words so that he could describe much worse things.
They finally arrived at the house at 7:40.  Adam was sick of hearing Ju’s original works and as he stepped out of the car, Ju asked, “Can I put something in the glove compartment?”
Adam, already fed up with the kid, answered without any thought, “Yeah, it’s open.  Hurry up.”
They went in the house and soon after Adam was introducing Ju to some new people.  Everyone at the party was excited to meet Ju.  Everyone kept asking him to rap.  People all over the place were just laughing at him for his ridiculous rhymes.; he thought everyone was sincerely interested in his work.  Adam finally felt compelled to break the news to Ju.  “You know they don’t think you're good?  They are making fun of you.”
Ju flipped, “What?!” He began freaking out and trying to fight everyone, yelling nonsense.  The whole time he kept grabbing at his pocket.  Then he turned to Adam and asked, “Can I go back to the car? I got something that will shut them up.”  Then it finally clicked what was in the glove compartment and he remembered his trainer’s warnings.
Adam thought to himself how he would calm Ju down.  Then he figured it out.  “Ju, let’s go outside.”  I dragged him out of the house to avoid anymore conflict.  “Man, don’t listen to them, let’s do a rap duet.  You pick a song.”
“Fine, how ‘bout No Diggity by Backstreet.  You sing the Queen Pen part.”
“Anything for you bud.’’  They spent the rest of the night rapping in the front lawn.
Adam told me this story in confidentiality, but Adam was really brave that day so it is only fair to share this story.  Adam told me that at the end of the night, when he dropped Ju off at his trainer’s house, he saw the gun.  Adam only got a glimpse of the 9mm before Ju shoved it into his pants and let his baggy jacket drape over.  Adam still loses all the color in his face when he tells the story, as if he is reliving it every time.  I guess the moral is, never let some random guy get in your car at Chipotle.

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