Biff and Sturla and The Painted Ear

            “Sturla where are you?”

            It was an odd question to ask while entering his room. Sturla, his best friend and neighbor, popped his head out from under the bed with an expression of panic plastered across his face.

            “Biff, how the hell are we gonna get out of here?”

            A little less than two hours ago Biff had received a call from Sturla. Biff was entering the weight room at his school to blow off some steam. He had just taken his third final and he needed to stop studying. He checked his phone and found two missed calls back to back from his best friend Sturla. He immediately called him back.

            “Yo Biff”

            “Yo what’s good?”

            “Do you know if anyone is home at your house?”

            Well that was an odd question.

            “Uhh… no I don’t think so. My mom is teaching until normal time and my dad is at work. Why, whatsup?”

            Sturla mumbled something and Biff heard a high-pitched giggle on the other line.

            “Well, uhh, I’ve got Darla with me.”

            “Oh that’s cool, garage code is 9601 and I’ll be coming home in about an hour or so, so do whatever just be a bro and don’t make out on my bed please.”

            “Will do man, thanks for the spot.”

            An hour later Biff was heading home with his sister, Sara, making sure to text Sturla when he left school to give him and Darla ample time to get out of the house. It was a quite car ride home as usual until the buzzing began.

            “Biff your phone is blowing up, who keeps texting you so much?”

            Biff quickly grabbed his phone, opened the messages all from Sturla, and immediately starting laughing. “Oh my god”; “We heard a noise downstairs”; “The door just opened”; “Who the (EXPLITIVE) is at your house?”; “What the hell”; “Oh my god they are coming upstairs”.

            Biff pulled into the driveway to the familiar view of the cleaning ladies’ car.

            “Sara, Sturla is here getting a book he needs for his final exam tomorrow,” Biff explained. “I’m gonna go grab him.”

            And there he stood, in his room figuring out how to get his friend and his girl out of the house without being seen. Speaking of the girl…

            “Where’s Darla dude?”

            A small, weak “I’m right here!” crept from the closet door.

            “How the hell are we getting out of here?”

            “Oh Hi Sturla!” said Sara, who was prancing up the stairs.

            “Hey Sara, just looking for a book in here!”

            Now that’s best friend telepathy right there.

            Escape routes and plans were speeding through Biff’s head. What he needed was to distract Sara or get her downstairs or get her out of the way…

            “Biff why is the bathroom floor all wet? Ugh, why do I always clean up after you?”

            “Darla now!”

            Darla jumped out of the closet and tip toed as fast as she could past the bathroom where Sara was scrubbing the floor dry and into Biff’s parent’s room.

            “Biff, what about the cleaning ladies!?”

            “Sturla, go downstairs and open the front door. Darla, don’t move until I tell you to.”

            “Biff,” Sara angrily exclaimed, “Your clothes from yesterday are still on the bathroom ground, are you really gonna make the cleaning ladies clean up after you? This is pathetic.”

            She stormed off downstairs with the pile of clothes to put them in the laundry bin. It was now or never.

            “Now!”

            Darla sprinted from her hiding spot behind the wall right down the stairs and right out of the door, followed by Sturla. As they sprinted across the lawn to the car, Sturla looked back at Biff and a large smile covered his face. Just some partners in crime at it again.            

Jack Keffer

Mr. O’Brian

British Literature E

October 20, 2013

            “You will be taking the SAT in room 104. Best of luck!”

            Lee didn’t need luck: he had Brett. Well, technically speaking, Brett wasn’t right there with him, but he could hear him alright. “That was one fat teacher my friend” Brett said.

            It was really Lee’s father that Lee should credit. After all, it was he who made the technology that made it possible for Brett to see through Lee’s eyes and speak into Lee’s ear. Never before had earpieces and cameras been so small that people couldn’t see them. And it was also his father’s $500 just casually sitting around that Lee had stolen to pay Brett for his service.

            “This is easily the most badass thing we have ever done. I just hate that I have to take this God damn test again.”

            It’s not like it’s a challenge for you thought Lee. You already aced it, you can do it again.

            Lee walked into room 104 and found dirty desks and some miserable looking people in them. He strategically sat in the back left corner of the classroom, where no proctor or student would be able to see the miniscule black earpiece in his left ear. The camera was placed in between his left eye and his nose and looked like a tiny pimple. This is going to work, and I don’t have to do a damn thing…

            The proctor entered the classroom with a suspicious air following her in. Her eyes were filled with skepticism and the scowl on her face screamed “fear me”.

            “Dude, that is one scary female” whispered Brett.

            The proctor, whose name according to the board was Ms. Fish, sat down at the desk and slammed her books down on the table.

            “There will be absolutely no cheating during this SAT or else you will be sent home immediately if caught. Do I make myself clear?”

            A loud gulp bellowed from Lee’s throat.

            Ten minutes later Lee found himself opening up the SAT booklet to the first test. “Here we go buddy, let me do the thinking and you just do the circling” Brett said.

            Everything was running smoothly until Ms. Fish started to walk around the room. With every slow step, her high heels sent a resounding click echoing around the room. It was driving Lee mad. His body became increasingly warmer until he started to develop a sweat and his eyes darted every time he heard those high heels clicking. Brett kept coming with the answers and Lee kept circling them.

            The high heels stopped and Lee’s heart skipped a beat. Ms. Fish was standing right next to his left side.

            “Sir, what is that on your ear?”

            It was over. She had caught him and he would never pass high school or get into college. His family would disown him and Brett would be just as screwed. Tears welled in his eyes as he awaited the screaming and screeches from this terrifying woman.

            “You’ve got paint on ear! Why on earth do you have paint on your ear?!”

            His heart started beating again. Blood started to pump into his body as he regained his senses and his mind.

            “Oh I was painting my room last weekend and my brother decided it would be funny to paint my ear.”

            “Well isn’t that wonderful! I love painting don’t you?!”

            A wide smile replaced the frown on her face as she strutted away from the desk. Lee checked his heartbeat, chuckled lightly in relief, and continued taking his test.